


Welcome to Agents of SHIELD

by FireDancer, SevenCorvus



Series: Welcome to Agents of SHIELD [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Gen, Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:13:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireDancer/pseuds/FireDancer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevenCorvus/pseuds/SevenCorvus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The secret is out. For decades your organization stayed in the shadows hiding the truth, now we know. They’re among us, heroes, and monsters, the world is full of wonders. Welcome to Agents of SHIELD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Agents of SHIELD

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefrogg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrogg/gifts).



> Feedback is love and will be rewarded with cookies (and smut).
> 
> Podfic available at http://www.mediafire.com/listen/7q1hn8vc92uv702/Welcome+to+Agents+of+SHIELD+2.wav or by following the 'works inspired by this one' link below.

The secret is out. For decades your organization stayed in the shadows hiding the truth, now we know. They’re among us, heroes, and monsters, the world is full of wonders. Welcome to Agents of SHIELD.

Hello listeners. SHIELD’s PR team would like me to remind you that the agency does not exist, and that any agents you encounter are definitely a figment of your imagination. The alien invasion that occurred recently was a mass hallucination and should not be spoken of or acknowledged further.

And now the news.

Have any of you heard about the apartment building explosion? Well, Skye, you know, the hacker, she saw the whole thing, said she saw a man in a blue hooded sweatshirt jump through flames and out the window carrying a woman in his arms. Apparently she recorded it and is now searching for the man in the blue hoodie. 

Agent Ward, that jerk, was spotted retrieving a mysterious item in Paris. After a noisy fight, he was then seen dangling from a helicopter. Real subtle Agent Ward.

What does SHIELD stand for you ask. Strategic, Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. What does that mean? It means someone really wanted the initials to spell out SHIELD. SHIELD is the line, between the world and the much weirder world, that protects people from news they aren’t ready to hear. And when they can’t, they keep people safe. 

Dear listeners, I have just received some happy news! It seems that our dearly departed Agent Coulson, last seen bleeding out on the Helicarrier, is in fact still among the living! While there is no word yet on how this miraculous recovery took place, let us give thanks that our sweet Agent is with us once more.

New info from Skye, you know, the hacker. She tracked down the man in the blue hoodie and met up with him in a restaurant. She says he’s looking for work and that she offered to help him with the whole hero gig but he wasn’t interested.

I’ve had multiple reports that Agent Ward was invited to join a handpicked team led by our sweet Agent Coulson. He did not seem very enthused at the idea and tried to get out of it. What a jerk. Other members of the team include the strange two person scientist, FitzSimmons, and Melinda May, the pilot. 

Skye, you know, the hacker, has been detained by SHIELD and is helping them track down the man in the blue hoodie. No idea why she has decided to help the mysterious agency, but I’m sure she has a good reason.

The man in the blue hoodie was spotted assaulting a factory foreman and damaging equipment. No one appears to know his motivation, or the source of his superhuman strength.

And now, the [weather](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6uD3NPJqJE&list=AL94UKMTqg-9Be555BScLGKEjNf8jD5Hj_).

Welcome back, listeners.

Update on the man in the blue hoodie. He was seen in Union Station fighting with SHIELD agents and seemed to be on the verge of exploding. Our sweet Agent Coulson put down his gun and tried to talk the guy down, what an agent. He was getting through to the man in the blue hoodie, when Agent Ward shot him with a strange gun, interrupting their conversation. What a jerk. Reports say that the man in the blue hoodie survived, his location and condition remains uncertain. Good job Agents.

We can’t explain everything we see, but our eyes are open, so what now, there are no more shadows for you to hide in. Something impossible just happened, what are you going to do about it?

Stay tuned next for an hour of weirdly inappropriate humor about the 1980s!

Goodnight listeners, goodnight.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Agents of SHIELD is a production of Feels Chat. It is written by SevenCorvus, with assistance from FireDancer, and posted by SevenCorvus. Original plot bunny courtesy of thefrogg. This episode’s weather was The Wake (Dream Mix) by Abney Park. Some content was from the Agents of SHIELD Pilot, for more info check out their official website: <http://www.agentsofshield.com>. Want to suggest weather for future episodes? Want to contribute your talents? Just want to say hi? My tumblr [ask](http://sevencorvus.tumblr.com/ask) is always open. 
> 
> Today’s Proverb: With great power comes...a ton of weird crap that you are not prepared to deal with.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Welcome to Agents of SHIELD (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/981071) by [FireDancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireDancer/pseuds/FireDancer), [SevenCorvus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevenCorvus/pseuds/SevenCorvus)




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